How to teach better behaviours

Newsletter by Family Graffiti | Published on 8th May 2018

Challenge the behaviour, not the child..
To teach a new behaviour it should first be modeled.

Children must be shown the expected behaviour through role play or your parental interactions in the family group. (Don’t be nice to baby and then shout at older children or partner, this will send conflicting messages to the instinctive learner).

Then we must encourage the expected behaviour to become the patterned behaviour when the behaviour is the child’s automatic response to the environmental or emotional trigger it has become their habit.

Acts of behaviour are due to distorted cognitive interpretations. It is the ‘belief system’ (cognition) that needs disputing and managing differently; not the child that reacts (behaves) poorly.

Inside every behaviour is a child struggling to behave...

The child inside the behaviour (the one that you wish to recruit) will start to recognise their positive emotional feelings from this applauded act of good behaviour, and feel good about themselves.

You’ve put ‘the behaviour and it’s accompanied emotional feelings’ into the right compartments.

Your child (and you) can work forward from this. It may take many repeats, before the expected behaviour will be entrenched, but the emotional effect on the child will be instant.

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